Will you be my Valentine?
It's February, traditionally the month that we think about hearts, and flowers and candy, and dates, and a little romance, spending a little more time loving on the people that are important in our lives. You know, I think that we should be loving on ourselves every month. And that's why one of my mottos is Love Thy Selfie.
This is a reminder, I think, particularly for many women. Certainly, I earned that badge. I am often much more critical of myself than anybody else could ever be. I'm not good enough, I'm not young enough, I'm not slim enough. I'm Not! Not! Not!
There's always this drive to be better than, instead of going, this is me! And this is wonderful. And I do Love My Selfie. That's such an awkward thing, at first to say to myself, and I was raised with that kind of attitude of; don't be vain, don't be looking for compliments. Always be very humble and meek. And you know, if you think too much of yourself, well, you're really just heading for trouble, that you should always only be thinking about other people. And as a woman, you should put yourself last. And you should always kind of be demure, or at least not practicing any form of self-admiration or self-appreciation. Unfortunately, that's changing a lot. Of course, the other side of the coin can be that now today with our social environment, where we are being exposed to filtered and altered photographs of everybody's “A” life.
And it becomes even more of a challenge to go, "Oh My, this is me, without my makeup. On a bad hair today. On a day when I'm feeling less than the Superwoman that I want to be, or that I need to be for myself and for others. In a conversation with a friend of mine, not long ago, she said something that just stuck with me so much we were talking about, at our age, we're both in our 60s plus how to feel desirable and sexy and passionate. And the disappointment in changing and evolving relationships over time, where some of that passion is lost, or we just don't feel sexy enough to deserve that passion.
Her statement was: "Really, if I don't turn me on, who can?"
That struck a chord with me and made me think more about that, then yes, as a woman, I'm 66 years old now. No, I don't know where you are in this spectrum of evolution as a woman, but can you look at yourself and say, Hey, babe, you turn me on? And when you do, and really, really say that with conviction? How does that change your attitude, your feeling, your posture, your smile, your sparkle, your tingle in all those great feminine places? And has society pegged us wrong? Do we stop being romantic or sexy or just wanting physical affection, when after menopause or when we're in our 60s? I'm a grandmother but I you know what? I'm a grandmother who's a live, warm blooded woman and I want not only to be admired for who am I authentically, but to admire myself, for who I truly am? I wonder how you feel about this? And what are the ways that we can appreciate ourselves and to continue to build ourselves up so that we feel great and we set examples for people around us.
You know the old adage "If Mama's not happy, nobody's happy"? I think that applies to how we feel. Absolutely, it does apply to how we feel about ourselves, and how that radiates around us, and affects other people. You know, there's the energy, the vibes that are flowing, when you do feel good, positive about yourself. As a woman aging through childbearing years, and menopause, and divorce, and business challenges and growth, and the loss of loved ones, dear friends and parents, isn't always sunshine and lollipops is it? But then you add on to that, as we get a little older, and hair is growing, where we don't want it to. And isn't growing, where we wish it would grow more. And our body's letting us down. And it's changing and morphing in shape. And hormones are coming and going. And staying up late means staying up past 9pm. And our energy levels can be lower. And our habits and our willpower may have different priorities. Let's just say that.
So what does that mean that we aren't any less vibrant, and desirable to ourselves and for ourselves? I think I think not! I think it's a matter of changing our perspective, and realizing that the societal norms of the curly, blue-haired grandma, and cardigan sweater, and the sensible shoes are not relevant anymore. Unless we choose that is who we are and we love about ourselves. Instead, we have options.y!" What does it mean now in:
I am very interested to hear what your thoughts are about "Do you turn yourself on and if you don't, what are you going to do about it?