Welcome back to the Lift As You Climb podcast.
And today, we're going to continue our conversation about friendships, something that's very, very important in every woman's life. A recent podcast episode, I shared a very personal and painful story about a breakup of a friendship, and how different that feels than the breakup of a romantic relationship. And my theory around why not all BFFs are meant to be forever.
I've had a lot of people reach out and say, Hey, I, I understood fully what you were saying. And it brought back for me, the feelings that I experienced when my friend divorce divorced me, dumped me, betrayed me, and how it took a while to get over that. But then we continued our conversation, and it automatically turned to how many more true BFFs dear, incredible, lifelong, or new, but will be for a long-time friendship that we have, and why that's so very important. As we go through the challenges of a woman's life, the evolutionary woman, the entrepreneurial woman, and how it's really important, even to the extent as we are reminded that we become kind of a product of the five people that we spend the most time with.
Let's try to think of how I could give voice to this conversation about why friendship is so very important. And now how do you define if it is a good friendship, if it's truly a good friendship, and not something that is more of a casual relationship?
Then I realized, hmm, I've already written about this. And in fact, it's very easy for me to pick up my book “Who Am I Now? Feminine Wisdom, Unmasked and Uncensored” So why don't I just share a little excerpt from a chapter? In a section of the book, we explore “REAL-ationships”, not just relationships, but the real ones that contribute to who we are, who we become, and who we want to be next to be the best version of ourselves.
I won't read the whole chapter to you, but just a little bit of my thoughts then because I really did summarize what I feel this to this day.
Starting from the top of the chapter BFF best friends forever. It's a commonly used abbreviation in text and communication today. I'm extremely grateful for a life well lived, and friends well loved. True friendships, not just superficial acquaintances, or socially convenient relationships. But true friendships are among my most valued treasures in life. Among all my true friendships, they have lasted longer than various careers or even marriages. These friendships have certainly outlived hair colors and hair styles, eyeglass fashion and addresses. My BFFs have celebrated me and comforted me Through life's ups and downs, my BFFs have the guts to tell me when I'm wrong. Fight for me like a warrior when I'm wronged by others and tell me when I'm being a bitch and that I need an attitude adjustment for my own wellbeing. BFFs see the best in you, even before you can visualize that yourself, they are loyal, honest, I can make you laugh Sauvignon Blanc right out of your nose. BFFs will give you their last dollar and loan you their very best little black dress. They will drop everything when you need them, and they'll be there 100% every time and every time zone. BFFs do not keep score. never betray confidences and never, never allow you to wallow in self-pity, at least not for long. And then they show up with two spoons and a tub of ice cream. BFFs pick you up, straighten your tiara and tell you to put on your big girl panties and go conquer the world.
These irreplaceable “sisters of the heart”, crime fighting cohorts, take your secrets to their grave confidantes are the purest, rarest treasures on earth. If you have them, thank them, protect them, nurture them. If you don't have them, then cultivate them. I guarantee you there will be many many times in your life when you will need them.
BFFs, the real kind are not superficial, while mutually convenient friends. But the truly always, even if we don't talk or see each other for extended periods. I got your back sister kind of unconditional love. Best friend forever, is a rare and priceless gem.
As I write I am thinking of my true BFFs some close some far, and some who now live among the stars. How joyous I feel as I wrapped myself and the memories of the good times we shared. I recall vividly the music of our laughter together the warmth of their hugs when I needed them. And the butterflies in my stomach as they challenged and supported me to step fully into my own power. Oh, the adventures we shared the tears we shed both of joy and sorrow and the heads we turned. We danced and sang and drank deeply from the wealth of life and wine, lots of wine. And we are not done yet. At least not all of us.
Friendships should evolve and change just like we do. Naturally, some friendships come to a complete stop. Either stall or coast for a while, or the really great ones accelerate as friends evolve and grow themselves.Synchronicity of interests, connections and priorities underpin the sustainability of friendships.
I've come to accept that some friendships will ebb and flow and some will reach a peak and fade away. Sadly, some friends leave this earth and others who we thought were forever friends leave us behind for different reasons. So that helped me to re see restate, re affirm and absolutely convinced myself that friends, my best friends, my girlfriends, my vitamin G's are absolutely essential to my wellbeing. My evolution, my happiness, my visioning, my confidence. Some of them are even essential to my wardrobe.
I hope that you are as fortunate as I am, in having curated a collection of incredible women to inspire you, and to lift and climb with you. And to especially be there at the top together, enjoying the view and celebrating as friends. This is something that I would like to pass on, as a legacy to all generations of women. It’s something I talk about with my daughters and my granddaughters about the importance of choosing your friends, and caring for them and about them and protecting that friendship and knowing that you will grow together in life. And that that makes life richer, and more positive for everyone.
For those of you that are not yet my friends, until we meet, I wish you great friendships. So, until we meet again, I hope you give some thought to who are the special friends in your life and what you do to show them that you appreciate them. And on the other side of that, take a look at the friends that maybe are no longer the right or “REAL-ationships” that are important to the future that you choose. Until we meet again, Good Bye