Episode 79
Best and Worst of Expat Living for Singles | LAYC79
In this episode; Part Three of the three part interview series with longtime, Canadian Expat in the Middle East, we talk more about the highs and lows of this exciting lifestyle choice.
While loneliness is a common challenge for expatriates, Amanda shares her personal strategizes and ways to overcome it, and create fulfilling and enriching life in a new country.
To combat loneliness as an expatriate, it's important to take proactive steps, such as:
Engage in Activities: Participate in social activities, clubs, and events to meet new people and build connections.
Language Learning: Learning the local language can help break down barriers and enable better communication.
Reach Out to Fellow Expats: Connecting with other expatriates who understand the challenges of living abroad can provide a support network.
Cultural Integration: Make an effort to understand and embrace the local culture, which can lead to more meaningful interactions with locals.
Maintain Connections: Stay in touch with friends and family from your home country through technology and visits.
BONUS:
Get a free copy of Expat Tips By Amanda Sheldon here.
About the Host:
Isabel Alexander
Your Next Business Strategist and Transformation Catalyst
Dynamic, a self-made entrepreneur who overcame obstacles with an unrelenting positive nature, a farm girl work ethic, and a conscious choice to thrive rather than survive, Isabel Alexander cultivated an award-winning, $10+ million global chemical business and grew it from dining room table to international boardrooms.
Isabel’s strengths include the ability to initiate and nurture strategic relationships, a love of lifelong learning and talents for helping others maximize their potential. An inspiring speaker within both industry and community, she is a driving force behind those with the courage to follow her example of thriving against the odds.
With 50+ years of business experience across diverse industries, Isabel is respected as an advisor, a coach, a mentor, and a role model. She believes in sharing collective wisdom and empowering others to economic independence.
Founder:
Lift As You Climb Movement (www.facebook.com/groups/liftasyouclimbmovement)
and
Chief Encore Officer, The Encore Catalyst (www.theencorecatalyst.com) – an accelerator for feminine wisdom, influence, and impact.
also
Author & Speaker ‘Who Am I Now? – Feminine Wisdom Unmasked Uncensored’ (www.IsabelBanerjee.com)
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/isabelalexanderbanerjee/
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Transcript
All right, we're back again, and we've let her hair down.
Speaker:This is Isabel Banerjee in Tucson, Arizona, and Amanda Sheldon, recently
Speaker:landed from Dubai in the UAE, now in Toronto, Canada again, had two previous
Speaker:episodes where we have explored what it's like to be a woman Living and
Speaker:Traveling in Different Parts of the World, a little bit about what the expat
Speaker:life is about, and a little bit about the great misconceptions about what it's
Speaker:like in the UAE and the Gulf region.
Speaker:Amanda, we were sharing that you've just repatriated to Canada after
Speaker:being 10 years out of the country.
Speaker:And you have built an extensive career background of experience moving up in
Speaker:operations and in management level.
Speaker:And now you're coming back to Canada, starting a new job.
Speaker:And I wanted you to compare some of the differences that you expect now.
Speaker:I will say my industry is retail, so there, there are going to be differences
Speaker:than working for a corporate or a private company on any side of the
Speaker:world but the biggest differences, I would say, is, in the Middle
Speaker:East, I had a six day work week.
Speaker:It was 30 days vacation plus public holidays.
Speaker:So I remember my first couple of years thinking, why are they giving me so much?
Speaker:What am I going to do with this?
Speaker:Can I just, bank it and give it to somebody else?
Speaker:But after 10 years, I will say.
Speaker:That's the one thing I'm going to miss the most because that's how I was able
Speaker:to take all those fabulous trips around the world because I had the time.
Speaker:So the repatriation and understanding, for example, that my job here in Toronto
Speaker:will give me two weeks vacation but after five years I can get three weeks.
Speaker:What's the big three?
Speaker:Doesn't hold a candle to what I had in the Middle East.
Speaker:The other.
Speaker:I have a question for you just before we go ahead because this may
Speaker:be a curiosity for other people.
Speaker:So you said you work six days a week and you have 30 days vacation annually.
Speaker:So how did you celebrate?
Speaker:Did you have TGIF?
Speaker:What, what days of the week?
Speaker:Yes, again, this is so normal for me that I have to transition back here.
Speaker:In the Middle East, the calendar runs.
Speaker:and so Friday, Saturday are considered the weekend days.
Speaker:Friday being their religious day.
Speaker:So in North America, we have Sunday to go to church.
Speaker:They go to the mosque for the big prayers on Friday.
Speaker:That is typically for any level of workers, they all have Friday off.
Speaker:So it's actually quite celebratory every week in the city because
Speaker:people could go out, they're out with their families, doing picnics,
Speaker:or, whatever it is that they have to do in terms of buying groceries.
Speaker:And then depending on what type of job you have, you would
Speaker:work again on the Saturday.
Speaker:So most people in in offices and corporate or administrative work
Speaker:would be working six days a week.
Speaker:That's correct.
Speaker:So in my final few years, I moved up into corporate life solely.
Speaker:So I did have a five day work week.
Speaker:And but I did, I will say, my first few years, especially in Kuwait, and
Speaker:then going into Dubai, I liked the six day work week, because it gave me that
Speaker:opportunity to be alongside my team.
Speaker:You have a feeling of true rest, if your job ended at five, you leave,
Speaker:you're not taking the work home with you things are open much later there
Speaker:the mall is open till midnight, 2am, sometimes during the year, restaurants,
Speaker:most people would dine at 9pm again, it was a very different lifestyle.
Speaker:I remember when I visited you being surprised pleasantly that the mall
Speaker:wasn't just a place where people went and shopped and, or, and ate and laughed
Speaker:or went to the movies, but it seemed to me like a community center where
Speaker:families came and it was very lovely.
Speaker:It was social because of that interaction.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:I guess part of it was because it's too hot outside or too dusty
Speaker:at times but still it was like that's a better use of real estate.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:And, malls are gosh, every corner.
Speaker:North America has a Starbucks on every corner.
Speaker:The Middle East has a mall, but each mall serves a different community purpose.
Speaker:Often that integration of having the doctor's office plus your music center
Speaker:for children the nail salon, like all of those community services are there.
Speaker:And for an expat, it just meant that you.
Speaker:could do all your errands in one place and then go out and enjoy the
Speaker:cup of coffee, with your girlfriends or colleagues afterwards as well.
Speaker:You didn't have to travel a lot.
Speaker:Another thing I remember, it just came back to me, my fascination with your,
Speaker:the malls, parking control systems.
Speaker:Yes, which I don't know if North America has adopted this yet, you actually
Speaker:have an app now as well in Dubai.
Speaker:So the sensors on the ceiling would tell you where there was an available spot.
Speaker:Space.
Speaker:And it would light up so you didn't have to go round and
Speaker:round looking for an open spot.
Speaker:You could actually just look up at the ceiling and it would show you and valet.
Speaker:So this is, I think another thing I will miss is I valeted my car
Speaker:everywhere and it was often free.
Speaker:And so you didn't have to worry about, circling the parking lot of
Speaker:the pharmacy trying to find something.
Speaker:You just valeted and you went inside.
Speaker:And there were none of those standoffs with two cars trying to get in the same
Speaker:parking spot or anything like that, right?
Speaker:But, possible.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:You have to give graciously to the other person who's first.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:I will do that.
Speaker:You also mentioned the salons and the nails and that's another great
Speaker:memory for me of going to the nails salons with you and Brian going, wow.
Speaker:Oh, by the way cheers.
Speaker:Cheers!
Speaker:We're working hard, we're working hard here as women, and since we are
Speaker:over time now, recording our third episode today, we've decided to
Speaker:reward ourselves with a glass of wine.
Speaker:Cheers!
Speaker:The nail salons that I experienced with you were really quite service level above
Speaker:anything I'd experienced in my travels.
Speaker:And I really wish that you could bring back that design of the chair with the
Speaker:pedicure and the nails and everything all together and the lovely tea service.
Speaker:That came with it.
Speaker:I will say that, especially in Dubai five Star service was something
Speaker:that every company aspired to.
Speaker:And I have not seen it anywhere else in the world.
Speaker:They truly go above and beyond to make a customer or a client feel valued.
Speaker:Whether you're buying, a $1 item or a million dollar item is the
Speaker:same service that's expected.
Speaker:, so you.
Speaker:Don't, you don't go anywhere fast.
Speaker:So a nail appointment here, you could get in and out, maybe 30 minutes
Speaker:in an express if you're lucky.
Speaker:Whereas there, I knew it was a three hour day because you you got the tea,
Speaker:you got the massage, you would have somebody do your eyebrows, you'd have
Speaker:the mani pedi all from this one station.
Speaker:And they didn't want you to go.
Speaker:Like they, they want to show.
Speaker:How valuable you are as a customer and that's what would keep you
Speaker:coming back over and over again.
Speaker:Any insight into why that seemed to be the pre predominant practice of customer
Speaker:service to the, the five star level?
Speaker:So there's several things.
Speaker:I think what came to mind right away is the Arab culture and, I think.
Speaker:specifically of Kuwait and Dubai, but I'm sure it's everywhere.
Speaker:There is an expectation of hospitality.
Speaker:And so it translates or trickles down into businesses and especially retail
Speaker:businesses to make sure that somebody feels at home when they're shopping.
Speaker:And so brands would go above and beyond to teach customer service.
Speaker:And that was part of what I did was to.
Speaker:Each that level of service that would anticipate a need and be able to deliver
Speaker:before the customer really actually realized they had a need for it.
Speaker:And as I said, you could go to the little corner restaurant which was a
Speaker:hole in the wall place and get the same.
Speaker:of hospitality is going to the seven star Hotel where they brought you hot towels.
Speaker:When you walked in the door.
Speaker:It was all the same mantra for everyone.
Speaker:It would be wonderful.
Speaker:If that attitude would, transcend everywhere.
Speaker:That would be great for all businesses, I think, and certainly for all customers.
Speaker:And I will say that one of the best factors to this is
Speaker:that hiring is universal.
Speaker:It's global.
Speaker:So a company looks for the best of the best, or in my case, example, in retail,
Speaker:if we didn't find the best, we would find people from these other countries, bring
Speaker:them in and teach them the expectation.
Speaker:And we spent a lot of time investing in people's well being
Speaker:and training in order to make sure that then the end result was...
Speaker:the customer expectation or experience that was five star or was as close
Speaker:to perfect as we could get it.
Speaker:I was impressed with how you used to invest in your talent,
Speaker:training them, supporting them to grow, develop those people.
Speaker:I thought that was very smart instead of the constant revolving door of people.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Best of the best, or as you say, building the best of the best.
Speaker:the difference from North America to I guess anywhere where you go
Speaker:within the middle east or Asia is these are full time only positions.
Speaker:And I do think that changes someone's perspective.
Speaker:As I said earlier.
Speaker:their livelihood and their family's livelihood rests on their Employment and
Speaker:their progression in that employment.
Speaker:So it isn't a part-time job to get through university.
Speaker:It's a full-time position to support a family or support,
Speaker:building a house in their country.
Speaker:And so that does put a different responsibility, but also a
Speaker:level of pride in what they do.
Speaker:We would spend time with the brands that I worked in recognizing even small
Speaker:contributions to build that confidence and build that level of sense of ownership
Speaker:and what they could do to grow and then again, trying to internally promote
Speaker:as much as possible to show people movement which then had the buy in
Speaker:effect that I needed to make sure that I had a loyal staff that stayed with us.
Speaker:No wonder you were content to be there for a decade because you were
Speaker:building your own family and your own relationships with the people.
Speaker:They were your work family, right?
Speaker:They were.
Speaker:They truly were.
Speaker:I have more babies born than I can count from my staff and, being able to see
Speaker:people get married or, the times where they were able to sponsor their children
Speaker:to come live with them in the country.
Speaker:Like all of those moments.
Speaker:We were all together with which is very humbling when again, you see what
Speaker:you come from and what they have is so little, and yet they do so much with it.
Speaker:That's very beautiful, Amanda.
Speaker:So what else would you think that, okay, I didn't.
Speaker:didn't see that coming, as part of your carer deveropment.
Speaker:I had in Dubai the opportunity to work for several different types of brands.
Speaker:And so I think I, I was unprepared for the economic downturn that The Middle
Speaker:East hit back in 2017 the first time.
Speaker:And so I wasn't prepared for the idea that the country didn't
Speaker:have infinite wealth to spend.
Speaker:And so I had to change my expectations of what business looked
Speaker:like and really pivot my manage.
Speaker:to be probably more assertive than a female is expected to be,
Speaker:but also more assertive than my staff had ever seen me to be.
Speaker:So that took a learning on my part to understand, how to be aggressive to
Speaker:get the sales going, but also then be mindful of, as I said, that development
Speaker:that was so cornerstone to my values.
Speaker:Wow, that's it.
Speaker:Leveling up your own skills.
Speaker:And as we like to say in the family, put your big girl panties on, and yeah, right?
Speaker:I think the first time I ever said that to somebody, they
Speaker:gave me this look like, what?
Speaker:So the, often those phrases that are so common practice to us,
Speaker:and I have to hold my tongue.
Speaker:Like I used to have a boss who would say poke my eye out when staff
Speaker:would do something frustrating.
Speaker:And I remember the first few years saying that and like doing the motion
Speaker:and having male staff really concerned that I was going to hurt myself.
Speaker:And trying to explain like no, it's just a Southern saying.
Speaker:It's okay.
Speaker:You're fine.
Speaker:Yeah, that's definitely there's some interpretation of your language and
Speaker:culture that you have to be careful about.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:All right, so you who, just to give people a sense you've alluded to the fact that it
Speaker:was a, All immigrants, mostly, that were coming into the workforce, you included.
Speaker:In the expat sector, what countries were most of your colleagues from?
Speaker:Oh in our office places often it was people from Britain or from France,
Speaker:so obviously the British Commonwealth helped grow that region extensively,
Speaker:so there's close ties to employment.
Speaker:I had a lot of American colleagues, but then as I went into my stores or
Speaker:into the brands that I managed the majority of the staff came from the
Speaker:Philippines, India, Pakistan, and Nepal.
Speaker:As time has gone on, both governments Kuwait and UAE did
Speaker:a big push to have location.
Speaker:into the workplace.
Speaker:I would have one or two staff that were Emirati or one or two staff
Speaker:that were Kuwaiti but it was a different expectation of them.
Speaker:And that's a different episode possibly in the future because most
Speaker:North Americans wouldn't understand that, that a very segregation by
Speaker:nationality in terms of, Career ambitions and just general expectations
Speaker:of working or not working, right?
Speaker:It was correct.
Speaker:Not that they weren't capable individuals, it was just.
Speaker:Not done.
Speaker:Not done and not necessarily the segment that they were encouraged.
Speaker:I think there's stereotypes, and forgive me for saying this for a lot of Indian
Speaker:nationals, you're either a doctor or an engineer, and so in the Middle East,
Speaker:Often, you had to be the manager or the CEO of your company, as opposed to
Speaker:just an employee somewhere in the line.
Speaker:And so it was changing that mindset in these young locals that
Speaker:they could enter the workforce to contribute in different ways.
Speaker:And what do you think required that shift?
Speaker:Was it an economic influence that?
Speaker:Said, okay guys, we want, or is it because they really realized.
Speaker:They needed to have their own people also in the infrastructure.
Speaker:I'm not as familiar with the politics of it, but I would say Saudi was
Speaker:the leader to show that they could be a self sufficient country.
Speaker:Which is why.
Speaker:It's a bigger push in that particular country to have all locals working
Speaker:in across multiple sectors.
Speaker:So in retail, for example, if I had female staff in my cosmetic brand,
Speaker:they had to all be Saudi females.
Speaker:There could not be an ex pat mixed in, because the government wanted
Speaker:The communities to see that they had to put roots down and actually
Speaker:contribute back to their country.
Speaker:, in u a e and in Kuwait it's a little bit different 'cause they're a little
Speaker:wealthier as a nationality mix.
Speaker:So it's more about showing that they didn't need to be
Speaker:self-sufficient on expats.
Speaker:And that their ideas.
Speaker:Mattered so that they can contribute.
Speaker:I as an entrepreneur, I was very interested at that perspective.
Speaker:And when I visited you once we went to a business women's
Speaker:breakfast or luncheon meeting.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:And to learn that, a lot of the local companies, They were owned by the
Speaker:locals, but they were run by expats.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:And how there was a desire for the ownership to become more involved and more
Speaker:hands on in their home businesses, because it just wasn't the way it was done before.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And it's fascinating because the younger generation that comes up
Speaker:really as very innovative and very creative, and especially in Dubai,
Speaker:they're fostering that environment.
Speaker:So a lot of the You know, humdrum office towers have been converted into these
Speaker:hubs of technology that allow these younger local students to come in, work,
Speaker:give ideas, but then it also teaches them the business practices to run their
Speaker:own businesses when the time comes.
Speaker:So they're doing it, methodically, but with the aim that more.
Speaker:of the population will get involved across multiple sectors.
Speaker:I think in the service industry, it's probably going
Speaker:to be the last place touched.
Speaker:They won't be in the construction field or the, garbage collection anytime soon,
Speaker:but definitely across some of these bigger sectors outside of the oil and gas,
Speaker:there'll be a better split going forward.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So the higher, a little higher earning potential and the status level, right?
Speaker:Status.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Excuse me.
Speaker:So you mentioned earlier went the ball and then we diverted away, but
Speaker:certainly I think that's something.
Speaker:That many people would relate to the stories about these phenomenal malls in
Speaker:the Middle East and the extracurricular activities available at the mall.
Speaker:Just because, we want to be fair to everybody who doesn't know yet.
Speaker:Could you give me some examples of things that you would see in a mall in Dubai?
Speaker:Not usually at a mall in the United States or Canada.
Speaker:Sure.
Speaker:Dubai is known for having, the world's largest everything.
Speaker:And, my office was outside of Dubai Mall, so I had to walk there every day.
Speaker:We'd go for lunch there, so it became just...
Speaker:The everyday corner mall for me.
Speaker:But to anybody coming into the country, it's the, the biggest draw is that,
Speaker:you've got the aquarium, which is several stories high, and you can see it from
Speaker:three different floors of the mall.
Speaker:You would see a ski slope in one of them.
Speaker:'cause all of these activities are brought indoors.
Speaker:The next one being built in Abu Dhabi, which is the other one of the other
Speaker:Emirates is, they're building a skydiving.
Speaker:So they're doing a mock skydiving version there.
Speaker:So you can go drop from the ceiling.
Speaker:But these are all things again, just.
Speaker:Make it part of that entertainment you spent the afternoon going, not only
Speaker:to shop for your groceries or some clothing, but also to then partake
Speaker:in all of these other experiences.
Speaker:Definitely a must see for everybody if you've thought, perhaps, about
Speaker:traveling in the Middle East.
Speaker:It's just an example of What you can do if you've got an imagination,
Speaker:a small personal fortune maybe, to build up what they have in Dubai and
Speaker:to build the Palm Island and Yes.
Speaker:Great things.
Speaker:Oh, yes.
Speaker:Another memory for me was the Uber helicopter.
Speaker:Oh, yes, which was always busy, like you could never get it
Speaker:because it was always taken.
Speaker:So that just tells you the wealth that was there because it was
Speaker:a 600 ride for a kilometer.
Speaker:Like it was something really short.
Speaker:You're all, please call me an Uber helicopter.
Speaker:I need to go out for dinner.
Speaker:exactly.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:Thank you again.
Speaker:This is just so fun and fascinating and I hope inspiring to other
Speaker:people to travel the world like you have and learn about other people
Speaker:and just open up our aperture.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So one more reminder, because the window was closed soon.
Speaker:We have a little contest here.
Speaker:Amanda's challenged you to name the seven Arab Emirates, and put those in
Speaker:the comments below this on our YouTube channel, and she will judge and select
Speaker:randomly a winner, and I will mail you, no matter where you are in the world,
Speaker:a personally autographed copy of.
Speaker:Who Am I Now?
Speaker:Feminine Wisdom Unmasked and Uncensored.
Speaker:And today, we've just unmasked a whole lot more feminine wisdom.
Speaker:Thank you for joining us.
