Episode 6
Work/Life Balance – the Teeter Totter Principle | LAYC06
Balance, by definition, means status quo. It's a flat line, nothing is happening. If you think that you can succeed in moving forward and growing, evolving, living a full life, and neither one of these are moving; your professional life or your personal life; it's a fantasy!
In fact, for anything to take place in this universe, there must be an exchange of energy. Things need to move, for anything to change and to happen. Let's look at it from the model of a teeter totter or seesaw - or if we want to be really scientific, we'll call it a fulcrum.
One side is your professional life.
The other side is your personal life.
For there to be any impact or result, we must have movement on that fulcrum, on that plane. So, when you push off from your personal life to go up, to commit any energy and get results there, your professional life, in accordance with the laws of the universe, has to take a drop down. And vice versa.
Good news! You can decide when and how much energy to allocated to each side.
About the Host:
Isabel Alexander
Your Next Business Strategist and Transformation Catalyst
Dynamic, a self-made entrepreneur who overcame obstacles with an unrelenting positive nature, a farm girl work ethic, and a conscious choice to thrive rather than survive, Isabel Alexander cultivated an award-winning, $10+ million global chemical business and grew it from dining room table to international boardrooms.
Isabel’s strengths include the ability to initiate and nurture strategic relationships, a love of lifelong learning and talents for helping others maximize their potential. An inspiring speaker within both industry and community, she is a driving force behind those with the courage to follow her example of thriving against the odds.
With 50+ years of business experience across diverse industries, Isabel is respected as an advisor, a coach, a mentor, and a role model. She believes in sharing collective wisdom and empowering others to economic independence.
Founder:
Lift As You Climb Movement (www.facebook.com/groups/liftasyouclimbmovement)
and
Chief Encore Officer, The Encore Catalyst (www.theencorecatalyst.com) – an accelerator for feminine wisdom, influence, and impact.
also
Author & Speaker ‘Who Am I Now? – Feminine Wisdom Unmasked Uncensored’ (www.IsabelBanerjee.com)
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/isabelalexanderbanerjee/
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Transcript
Hello again.
Speaker:Today, I'd like to talk to you about life.
Speaker:No, not that great philosophical conversation, but the conversation
Speaker:about practical living as a woman.
Speaker:While we're out there lifting, and climbing, and impacting, and doing, and
Speaker:caring, and nurturing, and earning, and slaying, and cooking, and cleaning, and
Speaker:loving, and all of the things that we do, how do we manage to fit us Marg Hashie.
Speaker:Who has a plethora of margisms that are extraordinarily spot on for the
Speaker:way life is, and also very rooted in practicality and feminine wisdom.
Speaker:First introduced me to the reality that as a woman, as much as I want
Speaker:to do it all and be it all for everyone and live it all in my life,
Speaker:the truth is I only have one option.
Speaker:Spoiler alert for everybody listening, it's the same for everyone.
Speaker:You know, we talk often, we hear often about the dreaded work life balance
Speaker:and how as women, can we have it all?
Speaker:Can we be good at everything, good enough?
Speaker:And worthy enough.
Speaker:And can we have a satisfying, successful, fulfilling, a
Speaker:professional life?
Speaker:And also have a happy, loving, legacy leaving personal life.
Speaker:Well, girls, we get one.
Speaker:We get one whole life, as Marg would say.
Speaker:And there is no balance.
Speaker:Balance, in fact, by its own nature, by definition, means that it's status quo.
Speaker:It's a flat line.
Speaker:Nothing is happening.
Speaker:And if you think that you can succeed in moving forward, in growing, evolving,
Speaker:living a full life, and neither one of these are moving, the professional
Speaker:life, the personal life, it's a fantasy.
Speaker:In fact, for anything to take place in this universe, there
Speaker:has to be an exchange of energy.
Speaker:Things need to move for anything to change and to happen.
Speaker:And so when we put energy into our professional lives.
Speaker:Well, let's, let's think about this.
Speaker:Let's look at it from the model of a teeter totter or a seesaw,
Speaker:or if we want to be really scientific, we'll call it a fulcrum.
Speaker:One side is the professional life, the other side is the
Speaker:personal life that you have.
Speaker:For there to be any impact or result, we have to have movement
Speaker:on that fulcrum, on that plane.
Speaker:So when you push off.
Speaker:from your personal life to go up to commit any energy and get results
Speaker:there your professional life just because of the laws of the universe
Speaker:has to take a drop down and vice versa.
Speaker:When you put the energy into pushing off and your personal life I'm
Speaker:sorry a professional life then Yes, your personal life has to take a
Speaker:lower plane, but don't despair.
Speaker:The beauty is in the movement.
Speaker:The beauty is in the energy and recognizing that this will always
Speaker:be the way and that you can choose when you push off in one area and
Speaker:when you raise the other area.
Speaker:Being conscious of the fact that that's the way nature works, and that's the
Speaker:way it was intended, is step number one.
Speaker:Step number two is recognizing that you are perfect in whatever choice that you
Speaker:make at the time that is best for you.
Speaker:That is not driven by the demands or the paradigms or the stereotypes
Speaker:that someone else established.
Speaker:And then the next step is to say, okay, in all of this, where do I feel my best
Speaker:and where do I feel my most alive and happy and fulfilled and successful?
Speaker:Now, of course, there's the every day.
Speaker:Practicalities that are factors that we have to flex around.
Speaker:Now, if you're raising children, um, or there's another person that you are
Speaker:responsible for as a caregiver that gets ill, that needs your attention,
Speaker:that wasn't in your plan, well, you know, that's part of the game, isn't it?
Speaker:It's part of life, or we're going to flex with that.
Speaker:But recognizing that you have the opportunity to decide how much energy
Speaker:that you're putting into each of those planes at any time is really freeing in
Speaker:itself, and that if you Recognize that the effort, the energy that you put into
Speaker:your professional life, your business, your career, really is supporting what
Speaker:you want to accomplish, how you want to live in your personal life, then.
Speaker:That is also very freeing.
Speaker:Instead of feeling like that professional J O B, or that business, or the
Speaker:staff, relationships, colleagues are drawing from you energy, and
Speaker:there's a obligatory responsibility.
Speaker:Participation.
Speaker:Look at it from the perspective of the results given that come from the
Speaker:energy given in that area of your life.
Speaker:Contribute to what you can do in your personal life.
Speaker:And creating that symbiotic relationship between the two sides of
Speaker:your world so that you can have the best of both is the ideal situation.
Speaker:Now I'm, I'm not saying, come on, let's be real girls.
Speaker:Life isn't a breeze all of the time and there are complications and
Speaker:conditions outside of our control.
Speaker:So as powerful.
Speaker:As super human, super woman, human qualities that you may have, like
Speaker:give it up, because the stuff that we can't control, we simply do our
Speaker:best to work with, work through, and accommodate where we can in our life
Speaker:plan, choosing carefully the things that we contribute our energy to, that we
Speaker:can control, that's the secret sauce.
Speaker:Being very conscious of who makes you feel energized, who contributes
Speaker:to your well being, your positive attitude, your clear thinking,
Speaker:your I wanna go do more, um, sense.
Speaker:is really essential.
Speaker:So being clear about who are the people around you in your orbit and
Speaker:deciding how much energy and space you're going to give them in your life.
Speaker:And if you can't simply blow them away, then what are the strategies
Speaker:that you employ to make sure you manage the boundaries very tightly
Speaker:around their interaction with you?
Speaker:And manage carefully how you respond to them in your presence, and how, what
Speaker:they trigger in you, what buttons they push, because, you know, you cannot,
Speaker:as they say, control what anybody thinks about you, you can only control
Speaker:about whether that matters to you, and the same applies with how much
Speaker:time and energy someone spends on you.
Speaker:will take of yours.
Speaker:So being aware of what are the tasks that you need to do or that you're just
Speaker:doing because you think you should, out of habit, out of old patterning,
Speaker:stereotyping, um, or maybe you just feel like you need like a hero badge
Speaker:because you clean the toilet every other day, um, just Go, whoa, wait a
Speaker:second, is that really contributing to this wonderful whole life that
Speaker:I want where my professional life contributes to the lifestyle that I
Speaker:want to enjoy now and the future that I am going to live and what is not?
Speaker:And, and creating very specific boundaries around those things.
Speaker:And if you can't just stop doing it overnight.
Speaker:In the case of cleaning the toilets, then how soon before you can hire a
Speaker:housekeeper or a delegate that function to somebody else and not talking about,
Speaker:you know, these are the proverbial toilets, this could be payroll in
Speaker:your company or bookkeeping in your company, or it could be a volunteer
Speaker:community, um, responsibility that people have just come to expect you to do.
Speaker:Um, or in your personal life, is it that pattern of feeling obligated to watch
Speaker:ad nauseum Netflix shows that you don't particularly get much out of, uh, but
Speaker:because your partner or your kids have gone, Oh, come on, You know, this is
Speaker:how we spend quality time with you and being conscious of how that feels to you
Speaker:and whether you really want to be there.
Speaker:And if not, then taking the lead, taking control of
Speaker:proposing an alternate situation.
Speaker:Uh, I, I know that, you know, it's, we've been kind of brainwashed into saying,
Speaker:Oh yes, women can multitask and look after everybody else, manage to just
Speaker:take enough time to take care of herself.
Speaker:If you aren't, contributing financially to the household while
Speaker:you're also being Martha Stewart, then you're not enough woman today.
Speaker:And I call bullshit on all of that because at every given
Speaker:moment in time, it is our choice.
Speaker:To decide what belongs in our whole desirable life, and what no
Speaker:longer serves us, and that we make a positive plan to change that.
Speaker:I know that you've heard before that you can't make room for new things in your
Speaker:life until you let go of some stuff.
Speaker:But I couldn't think of a better time just to remind ourselves.
Speaker:Me included, that that is the case.
Speaker:Make room for the things that make you feel alive and happy to get out of
Speaker:bed in the morning, and be very alert to the things that you do, the people
Speaker:that are around you, the habits and the patterns that you have Lived with for
Speaker:a while that don't make you feel that way and systematically change them out.
Speaker:Now in an upcoming episode of this podcast, I wanna talk
Speaker:about how BFFs are not always.
Speaker:Meant to be our best friends forever, and it is related to this
Speaker:conversation today about that one whole life that you have to live.
Speaker:If you're part of the lift of your, as you climb movement, you know that
Speaker:that is about living your legacy and empowering others to create theirs.
Speaker:I'm just saying you can't do that if you don't first start with yourself.
Speaker:Some food for thought.
Speaker:I hope that this has been helpful and I'm looking forward to
Speaker:talking to you again next week.
Speaker:Thank you for spending this time with me.
Speaker:I hope our conversation added value to your day and expanded your
Speaker:vision for your legacy and impact.
Speaker:Please join me in increasing my impact and expanding my reach to more people
Speaker:by sharing this episode on social media or leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.
Speaker:To catch all of the latest from me, subscribe to the show.
Speaker:on your favorite podcast platform.
Speaker:Connect with me and others in my community Facebook group, The Lift
Speaker:As You Climb Movement, where you can engage, be inspired by, and grow
Speaker:with a tribe of like minded people.
Speaker:As I evolve as a podcaster and a spokeswoman for collaboration and
Speaker:economic empowerment, your input and feedback are especially important to me.
Speaker:I welcome your suggestions and questions to hello.
Speaker:At the encore catalyst.com Until we meet again, please remember that your success
Speaker:may be the foundation to someone else's.
Speaker:Together we can raise success ladders around the world.
Speaker:Hello again.
Speaker:Today, I'd like to talk to you about life.
Speaker:No, not that great philosophical conversation, but the conversation
Speaker:about practical living as a woman.
Speaker:While we're out there lifting, and climbing, and impacting, and doing, and
Speaker:caring, and nurturing, and earning, and slaying, and cooking, and cleaning, and
Speaker:loving, and all of the things that we do, how do we manage to fit us Marg Hashie.
Speaker:Who has a plethora of margisms that are extraordinarily spot on for the
Speaker:way life is, and also very rooted in practicality and feminine wisdom.
Speaker:First introduced me to the reality that as a woman, as much as I want
Speaker:to do it all and be it all for everyone and live it all in my life,
Speaker:the truth is I only have one option.
Speaker:Spoiler alert for everybody listening, it's the same for everyone.
Speaker:You know, we talk often, we hear often about the dreaded work life balance
Speaker:and how as women, can we have it all?
Speaker:Can we be good at everything, good enough?
Speaker:And worthy enough.
Speaker:And can we have a satisfying, successful, fulfilling, a
Speaker:professional life?
Speaker:And also have a happy, loving, legacy leaving personal life.
Speaker:Well, girls, we get one.
Speaker:We get one whole life, as Marg would say.
Speaker:And there is no balance.
Speaker:Balance, in fact, by its own nature, by definition, means that it's status quo.
Speaker:It's a flat line.
Speaker:Nothing is happening.
Speaker:And if you think that you can succeed in moving forward, in growing, evolving,
Speaker:living a full life, and neither one of these are moving, the professional
Speaker:life, the personal life, it's a fantasy.
Speaker:In fact, for anything to take place in this universe, there
Speaker:has to be an exchange of energy.
Speaker:Things need to move for anything to change and to happen.
Speaker:And so when we put energy into our professional lives.
Speaker:Well, let's, let's think about this.
Speaker:Let's look at it from the model of a teeter totter or a seesaw,
Speaker:or if we want to be really scientific, we'll call it a fulcrum.
Speaker:One side is the professional life, the other side is the
Speaker:personal life that you have.
Speaker:For there to be any impact or result, we have to have movement
Speaker:on that fulcrum, on that plane.
Speaker:So when you push off.
Speaker:from your personal life to go up to commit any energy and get results
Speaker:there your professional life just because of the laws of the universe
Speaker:has to take a drop down and vice versa.
Speaker:When you put the energy into pushing off and your personal life I'm
Speaker:sorry a professional life then Yes, your personal life has to take a
Speaker:lower plane, but don't despair.
Speaker:The beauty is in the movement.
Speaker:The beauty is in the energy and recognizing that this will always
Speaker:be the way and that you can choose when you push off in one area and
Speaker:when you raise the other area.
Speaker:Being conscious of the fact that that's the way nature works, and that's the
Speaker:way it was intended, is step number one.
Speaker:Step number two is recognizing that you are perfect in whatever choice that you
Speaker:make at the time that is best for you.
Speaker:That is not driven by the demands or the paradigms or the stereotypes
Speaker:that someone else established.
Speaker:And then the next step is to say, okay, in all of this, where do I feel my best
Speaker:and where do I feel my most alive and happy and fulfilled and successful?
Speaker:Now, of course, there's the every day.
Speaker:Practicalities that are factors that we have to flex around.
Speaker:Now, if you're raising children, um, or there's another person that you are
Speaker:responsible for as a caregiver that gets ill, that needs your attention,
Speaker:that wasn't in your plan, well, you know, that's part of the game, isn't it?
Speaker:It's part of life, or we're going to flex with that.
Speaker:But recognizing that you have the opportunity to decide how much energy
Speaker:that you're putting into each of those planes at any time is really freeing in
Speaker:itself, and that if you Recognize that the effort, the energy that you put into
Speaker:your professional life, your business, your career, really is supporting what
Speaker:you want to accomplish, how you want to live in your personal life, then.
Speaker:That is also very freeing.
Speaker:Instead of feeling like that professional J O B, or that business, or the
Speaker:staff, relationships, colleagues are drawing from you energy, and
Speaker:there's a obligatory responsibility.
Speaker:Participation.
Speaker:Look at it from the perspective of the results given that come from the
Speaker:energy given in that area of your life.
Speaker:Contribute to what you can do in your personal life.
Speaker:And creating that symbiotic relationship between the two sides of
Speaker:your world so that you can have the best of both is the ideal situation.
Speaker:Now I'm, I'm not saying, come on, let's be real girls.
Speaker:Life isn't a breeze all of the time and there are complications and
Speaker:conditions outside of our control.
Speaker:So as powerful.
Speaker:As super human, super woman, human qualities that you may have, like
Speaker:give it up, because the stuff that we can't control, we simply do our
Speaker:best to work with, work through, and accommodate where we can in our life
Speaker:plan, choosing carefully the things that we contribute our energy to, that we
Speaker:can control, that's the secret sauce.
Speaker:Being very conscious of who makes you feel energized, who contributes
Speaker:to your well being, your positive attitude, your clear thinking,
Speaker:your I wanna go do more, um, sense.
Speaker:is really essential.
Speaker:So being clear about who are the people around you in your orbit and
Speaker:deciding how much energy and space you're going to give them in your life.
Speaker:And if you can't simply blow them away, then what are the strategies
Speaker:that you employ to make sure you manage the boundaries very tightly
Speaker:around their interaction with you?
Speaker:And manage carefully how you respond to them in your presence, and how, what
Speaker:they trigger in you, what buttons they push, because, you know, you cannot,
Speaker:as they say, control what anybody thinks about you, you can only control
Speaker:about whether that matters to you, and the same applies with how much
Speaker:time and energy someone spends on you.
Speaker:will take of yours.
Speaker:So being aware of what are the tasks that you need to do or that you're just
Speaker:doing because you think you should, out of habit, out of old patterning,
Speaker:stereotyping, um, or maybe you just feel like you need like a hero badge
Speaker:because you clean the toilet every other day, um, just Go, whoa, wait a
Speaker:second, is that really contributing to this wonderful whole life that
Speaker:I want where my professional life contributes to the lifestyle that I
Speaker:want to enjoy now and the future that I am going to live and what is not?
Speaker:And, and creating very specific boundaries around those things.
Speaker:And if you can't just stop doing it overnight.
Speaker:In the case of cleaning the toilets, then how soon before you can hire a
Speaker:housekeeper or a delegate that function to somebody else and not talking about,
Speaker:you know, these are the proverbial toilets, this could be payroll in
Speaker:your company or bookkeeping in your company, or it could be a volunteer
Speaker:community, um, responsibility that people have just come to expect you to do.
Speaker:Um, or in your personal life, is it that pattern of feeling obligated to watch
Speaker:ad nauseum Netflix shows that you don't particularly get much out of, uh, but
Speaker:because your partner or your kids have gone, Oh, come on, You know, this is
Speaker:how we spend quality time with you and being conscious of how that feels to you
Speaker:and whether you really want to be there.
Speaker:And if not, then taking the lead, taking control of
Speaker:proposing an alternate situation.
Speaker:Uh, I, I know that, you know, it's, we've been kind of brainwashed into saying,
Speaker:Oh yes, women can multitask and look after everybody else, manage to just
Speaker:take enough time to take care of herself.
Speaker:If you aren't, contributing financially to the household while
Speaker:you're also being Martha Stewart, then you're not enough woman today.
Speaker:And I call bullshit on all of that because at every given
Speaker:moment in time, it is our choice.
Speaker:To decide what belongs in our whole desirable life, and what no
Speaker:longer serves us, and that we make a positive plan to change that.
Speaker:I know that you've heard before that you can't make room for new things in your
Speaker:life until you let go of some stuff.
Speaker:But I couldn't think of a better time just to remind ourselves.
Speaker:Me included, that that is the case.
Speaker:Make room for the things that make you feel alive and happy to get out of
Speaker:bed in the morning, and be very alert to the things that you do, the people
Speaker:that are around you, the habits and the patterns that you have Lived with for
Speaker:a while that don't make you feel that way and systematically change them out.
Speaker:Now in an upcoming episode of this podcast, I wanna talk
Speaker:about how BFFs are not always.
Speaker:Meant to be our best friends forever, and it is related to this
Speaker:conversation today about that one whole life that you have to live.
Speaker:If you're part of the lift of your, as you climb movement, you know that
Speaker:that is about living your legacy and empowering others to create theirs.
Speaker:I'm just saying you can't do that if you don't first start with yourself.
Speaker:Some food for thought.
Speaker:I hope that this has been helpful and I'm looking forward to
Speaker:talking to you again next week.
